(i promise you) something visceral

    ( spontaneous. for some reason this word remains stuck in my head and i twist it around, mull over it and chew it until it tastes like something grey. i cant figure it out - for its right there , it makes sense but i cant hold it in the palm of my hands. my ears hurt from all this music. i wish i could be spontaneous - but i am only reckless, restless, impulsive,)     theres this book i randomly picked up because i saw it in a list of recommendations titled 'weird books for weird girls'. on a whim, i decided to read all the books on the list - the first of which being Y/N by Esther Yi. this is a pivotal moment for you, dear reader - if you know what a y/n fanfiction is, you might be immediately intrigued by this book. this book promised sufficient weirdness - with its reviews ranging from 'i hated this' to 'i hated this. five stars.'      but something about this book holds my attention. anything that holds your attention also holds to you a mirror...